bloggity blog, health and shit

Please send me cute animal GIFs while I take a moment to panic about how short life is…

The great and powerful, mystical Life Octopus has handed me one if its dick tentacles... a life lemon, mayhaps. I have awoke with a familiar burning pain in my neck. One that has filled me with dread and a deep foreboding onism. My shingles has returned like a shitty, racist relative you had hoped had… Continue reading Please send me cute animal GIFs while I take a moment to panic about how short life is…

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bloggity blog, poetry

deliciously terrible sin

A goddess comes down Goes down in her human form To meet the one who calls Her sweetest devotee, is he Breathing a heavy sigh As if he had been holding his breath The goddess looks upon her worshipper And she saw that he was good A sacrifice had been promised Procuring propitiation Little deaths… Continue reading deliciously terrible sin

foooooood, health and shit, Mother Fucking Rant

mother fucking cupcake

I just want to have a bitch about something. And please pay attention because you may do this thing and not realise that you are being a fucking dick. So, in this new life of mine, I am taking every opportunity to improve myself in ways I was not allowed to do before. One of… Continue reading mother fucking cupcake

bloggity blog, Mother Fucking Rant

Kegel kitty is here to help you

This is gonna be a weird post. I'm not gonna fucking lie. And don't think because you have a penis this doesn't apply to you... kegels are SO important. I will try not to weigh you down with mumbo jumbo and I will just give you straight facts. Kegel exercises strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.… Continue reading Kegel kitty is here to help you