bloggity blog, poetry

regret tainted reunion

I always say that I have no regrets
Life is what it is
I am where I am meant to be
Fate has lead me to this door and that
I do not wish I had picked another
This does not mean I don’t still look back
Think to myself
What the actual fuck
So many steps
Backing up
Backed into a corner
Sitting stagnation

My footfalls, no matter how hard I have stumble tripped over the unkindness of others
Blundered silly over my own mistakes
Tumble bumbling limping towards forgiveness again and again
And again
And again
(Is it still really forgiveness if you thought you didn’t deserve better?)
No matter how hard the fall
I have stood back up and made it here

I know better now
Forgiveness is not at the cost of your self worth
Love does not go hand in hand with fear
Trust is a two way street and is not given by right but is earned

And my body is exactly the same…
My body is not shown at the cost of my self worth
My body will only respond to love and will not give in to fear
My body is not to be taken by right but I will give my body if it is earned
If I feel someone is worthy of it

I always say I have no regrets
So many tainted reunions
So many wrong doors
But were they really wrong doors if they lead me here?
To this place of happiness
Of clarity
Of safety
Where there is a bounty of love without fear
Lead me to someone more than worthy
Lead me to where I belong
Lead me home


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