bloggity blog, warrior goddess queen

Of love and lemonade and glass jars and not rolling down spirals

I have been neglecting my blog… I guess this isn’t a completely terrible thing as it is still the holiday season and we are all still trying to get back into the swing of normal life.

I’m swinging nowhere currently… it is 8.30am and I am writing this from my bed.

A year ago when I started this blog, I was really trying to find myself. I was so lost in the me I had become in order to survive in my past life that I had simply shut the real Amberley up in a jar, poked a couple holes in the lid then forgot where I put her… on purpose.

I am now, after being out for so long, just finding my old self now… really finding her. My only problem now is I have to fit the me I am into my life… I have to nuture her and care for her… like a child that was abandoned in the woods to be raised by bears… or wolves… or spiders…

I am a completely different person. And you can see that growth on this blog. My earlier posts were so angry… so negative… I was a very sad and broken girl…

The whole idea behind this blog was about not just giving in, not just making lemonade from my life lemons. I wanted to bring beauty into the world. I wanted to turn horror and hurt into art. Most of all, I wanted to heal.

Every time I have run into an obstacle and overcome it, I have become stronger. Failures have made me wiser and more resilient. Big changes have made me adaptable, resourceful, and I am able to cope much better in stressful situations.

Don’t get me wrong. I still have down days but I can recognise them for what they are and wait them out or actively combat them instead of lying down like a child on a grassy hill and allowing myself to joylessly roll deep into the spiral.

This year is less about the fight and more about the flourish. It can be hard to flourish when constantly moving about, with no soil to call your own, no garden to sink your rooty toes into… but I am learning that home is less about the soil you are in and more about the other plants around you.

So, for now I will be a potted plant, able to move about freely and grow like a damn weed.

I will be working on my novel more and continuing to work on my animations. I am also putting more focus on my spiritual growth. And as allways, family is my number one. My family has unexpectedly grown. My garden is already flourishing. And I will continue to sow my positive intentions and fertilize with hope and love and endless gratitude.

Thank you for hanging this year. It has been a ride… that’s for damn sure…

I want to thank those who have had their part in my healing process, most of which I no longer speak to which is the way of most friendships. Mostly, I wish to thank Byron… there was allways a light at the end of this tunnel… I am so glad you were the light… thank you for being my light, my love, my sweetness…

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9 thoughts on “Of love and lemonade and glass jars and not rolling down spirals”

  1. Hugs to you mate. Grats your first year of blogging. There ain’t nothing wrong with being a potted plant. Be a cactus. The badasses of the potted plants’ world. They don’t give any fucks and sure as hell wouldn’t accept any lemonade!

    Liked by 1 person

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