bloggity blog, poetry

the me I am

Hi… Maybe you can help me…
Do you know where I am?
Not where I am right now, but the me I am looking for?

The me I am looking for is about my height.
She is sort of like me in looks… maybe a little prettier.
She is definitely less awkward.

Her words do not fall from lips like beetles battling to get to the light
Her tongue is not tied up in spider’s silk tight
Her mind is not the desperate scurry of ants before a rainstorm
Her heart is not this fluttering moth, this poised arachnid, this parasitic tick

Do you know where I am?
The me I am looking for is slightly better
She is not this frightening, frightened thing you see in the shadows and squash without a second thought
She is not this strange dancing leaf insect you only notice if she moves suddenly
She is not this droning mindless fly buzzing buzzing buzzing buzzing trying to find, fight her way through the glass

Do you … do you know where I am?
The me I am looking for is different
She is more predator than prey
She is more spider than fly
She is more dragonfly than mosquito
She is more graceful flight than crawling scared
She … is more.

Do you know where I am?
I think … I am afraid I am lost forever.

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24 thoughts on “the me I am”

  1. I have you. Locked inside my heartshaped box with rotto’s heart and my heartshaped glasses. You’ve been there for weeks. You can have you back when each of you learns to play nice with one another. 💛

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That bitch loves the fuck outta some Beatles… I apologise… if she gets too annoying just start singing something else, but only sing half a line… she will stop singing the Beatles and finish what you were singing. Pro tip.
        Or just muzzle her… that’s what I used to do. Otherwise she doesn’t shut up. We have that in common…

        Like

  2. Give some batteries for my old torch, and I’ll put my gumboots and raincoat on, and go out find you, the real “me”, I know it’s 2.00am, dark, wet and cold, but I’m sure I’ll find “me” soon 🐛🐝🐞🐜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Maybe Lionel Richie knows? Sorry…
    You’re there, right there, under the biggest transparent matryoshka doll. All you need to do is shed that layer, the one that protects you from your grrl-self, and then your grrl-self can protect you. With battle axe baddassery.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello! Is it me you’re looking for!
      Don’t apologise!
      This comment made me smile big. Maybe I will just keep the layer on for now. I take it off around some special people, I think… My battle axe never leaves my side. I might take it with me tonight actually…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bahahahahahahahahaha
        That’s how I will know. I will just take my battle axe and the dude that says “nice battle axe” and then responds correctly to “what does he waaaaant” … that’s him. That’s the one. I’ll put a ring on it.

        Liked by 1 person

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