I have had an empty canvas sitting on my art table for weeks now. Two days ago, I picked out the paints. Yesterday, I put them in the right order.
Why is it that sometimes art pours out of us. Uncontrollable. Undiluted. Like blood from an artery. Like drunken vomit. Like me talking to a friend. A continuous flow until it is stopped by outside forces or until you are spent.
If you have to force it, is it still good? I know I have created some great things that took a long time to pull out and extract from my body. The effort it took to create the thing from nothing, sometimes making the thing all the more sweeter. Effort is sexy.
But effortless is so good too. How rare it is to have something that is not forced from your body.
Can you have both?
Can you effortlessly create something from almost nothing that does actually require effort but not the “pull your hair out” “going out of your mind” sort of effort? Effortless effort.
And now the word “effort” looks meaningless…
Does everything meaningful have to be simple or easy or effortful or trying or heartbreaking or … What was I talking about?
My words have been the same lately… I have written half a page of my novel in the past 7 days… given… the last 7 days, half of those were spent either in or approaching hell.
Am I being too hard on myself? Am I even still talking about art?
Amberley, dearest, you need to chill the fuck out.
It has been 10 months… 10 mother fucking months!!! And they have been the best 10 months of my life… the journey I am on… I love it.
I love road trips. The drive… making stops… taking videos and photos of the trip… the journey is the best part sometimes… I guess that is the same for creating. It is creating the thing. Watching it grow from nothing. If it takes a long time then that’s okay because you get to spend more time making the thing just right… if you rush making the thing then it may not turn out how you want it to turn out. If you rush a journey, you could have an accident. If you rush writing you could lose your plot. Lol
There is my answer… chill the fuck out. Have fun with the journey. Stop trying to force art to happen.
Sleep when you can.
Create carefully. But also with a dash of reckless abandon… we are only here once…
I painted the damn canvas!