bloggity blog, poetry

Not what I had scheduled for today

Today I have been alone

But not lonely

Real life is a fairytale

We tell ourselves

To distinguish everything else

From the seperate lives we live

Behind screens

And in front of them

I was gonna write about love

But… maybe I shouldn’t

I was gonna write about warmth and other delicious treats

But… maybe I shouldn’t do that either

What am I even doing here

Not here, writing

But here, where I am sitting

The life choices that lead me to this very place and time and space

Well, I regret nothing

I want to be honest

But honesty comes with a cost

Doesn’t it?

Sell my soul

For happiness

Sell my body

For one night

Sell my boots for…

Nope… my boots are not for sale

You wouldn’t like standing in my shoes anyway

And besides…

These boots were made for walking

And why are you just standing there?

Not you

I was talking to myself

Lemons are bright

That is why I chose them

Brightness

Like light

Like yours and yours

And mine

There I go…

I just couldn’t help it

Had to bring YOU into this

You… the one whom I have not met.

(Is whom correct?)

The nameless soul who is also alone but not lonely…

Yep. That’s who I am talking about.

I just want a good night’s sleep

One without dreams of

Well… that’s a different post

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18 thoughts on “Not what I had scheduled for today”

  1. This is true for me, as well. I have pretty much beat the love horse to death, or so I’ve been told. In fact, though, real love, the kind that doesn’t seek ownership, can never be a dead horse. Have a great Saturday, sweetheart.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. You are beating nothing. I have been told, by another reader, that I have posted way too much about love and relationships. You are doing exactly what you need to do for yourself, honey. ❤❤❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved this, Amber. OMG. I feel so empty today, I feel unwanted and unloved. I wanted to write something positive but my mind can’t process anything, like I’m just floating into nothingness. Naked. Alone. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am sorry you feel this way, beautiful. We are all alone. But lonely, we don’t have to be. Sometimes, just the act of writing about love can make you feel it, even if for a brief moment.
      I am so happy you liked it. It felt good to write, even though I was just sort of vomiting onto the page… lol big hugs, dearest

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m late reading this, but I really got a deep sense of your insides in this, and also a bit of a warm tender feeling in places. I hope your dreams are beautiful and amazing.
    All the hugs and love!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All good, muffins. I’m happy when you stop by, whenever you do.
      It was a fun write. And I enjoy the random stream of thoughts type posts… my dreams are a mixed bag. But sometimes I get lucky and get some pretty good ones. All the hugs and love, Wardy Muffins.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is you bare and naked and I love it as I knew I would. I share your thoughts and I can feel turmoil here but you must know that your typhoon of insides revealed makes beautiful, chaotic sense and I know that because an amazing, wise and ephemeral soul told me that once. And he was right.
    Feel all of these things. …freely. And when he finds you (he of whom you speak , but haven’t met yet) you will be in the perpetual bliss you deserve. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😘

    Like

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