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Sologamy: ultimate self loving

Sologamy is the practice of being on one’s own. To be alone but not lonely. Of being unapologetically and happily single AF.

I first came into contact well before I entered a state of sologamy myself. I can’t even remember who I heard it from but the idea has stuck.

If you don’t I already know, I had been in a monogamous relationship for over 17 years. Albeit, the monogamy was one side, but from my side it was definitely monogamous.

Yep… that’s me… old one dick Lemons… that’s what they call me back home. Lol not really.


Now I find myself in a situation that I have never been in before. I am alone. Sure, I have my kids, but it is not the same. And for the first time in forever (❄☃️) I can do… anything really.

I’m not saying all relationships are the prison I was trapped in. I am sure that there are some very happy couples out there … somewhere… but I do believe that when we enter into a relationship there will be a certain amount of freedom lost.

On the flip side of the coin, I think there is a stigma about single people. Like a desperation or sadness placed on us… the urge for society to find us a mate is strong. And I am not buying into it.

I know that I have written love poems about some fictitious future lover…(this one too) but I am not looking and I don’t plan to. If love falls in my lap one day maybe I will have a taste but for now I am satisfied with learning about myself.

Think of that honeymoon phase at the beginning of a new relationship. Where you love on one another. You learn about them. What they like and dislike. You learn what they will not stand for and what pleases them. You dote on them and take care of them and most of your focus goes on them…

That. That right there… that is the stage I am in with myself. I am loving ME. Getting to know ME. Finding out what I like and the things I will not put up with. I am setting down good habits and cleaning out the bad.

I am in a relationship with myself. And I am fucking smitten.

This is what Sologamy is.

I even have a ring on my wedding ring finger. To show my dedication to myself and no other.

Being single is not a bad thing. It is a great thing. It is time to really find yourself. I think once you have done that and you are a complete and whole person, only then can you afford to give yourself to another.

If you even want to that is…

Love yourself like I love you, dearest humans.



20 thoughts on “Sologamy: ultimate self loving”

  1. I entered into sologamy, seven years ago, through the experience of widowhood. It’s not been terrible, as I get to choose with whom I spend time. Your ring choice is not unknown here- a lady who is “happily divorced” sports a veritable Hope Diamond on her wedding ring finger.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your version of sologamy is the hardest way… i am so sorry. But it is hood that you are still able to see the good.
      Yay! I am so glad that I am not the only one celebrating my singleness! This makes me happy.
      Thank you for visiting me again, you gorgeous human warrior person!!! All the hugs to you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good on You Lemons! It’s about time more people started appreciating the values singleness has to offer! 🙂

    knowing about and understanding yourself is key to being able to establish a lasting relationship with another, similarly aware individual i believe, but it can take a long time.

    Take my case for example – i am so complex and deep that it would take me at least two lifetimes to really get to know me, thus making a relationship that lasts a bit tricky if you don’t know anyone who’s going to stay with you for a minimum of 3 lifetimes! 😉

    What they hey? Life can still be fun being single. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha i love this…

      Yes, I don’t believe it is celebrated enough.

      I think it just may be… how can you possibly get to know someone else when you can’t even figure yourself out…

      3 lifetimes is a long time to be with someone…

      Yes! I am having more fun now than I have ever had. Being single has been one of the most freeing experiences in my life.

      I’m so glad that this resonated with you, dearest! Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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