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All hail the great and mystical octopus *or* dick tentacles getting you down

Does anyone else feel that when you start to get a hold on one part of your life, you let other things slip?

I am starting to believe that life is like a giant octopus.

It’s arms are things… one arm for your health. One for your family. One for your career. Dreams and so on…

So, if we concentrate on the career tentacle (which is a twitchy, slippery mother fucker) then we let go of the family one. The dream one disappears somewhere and the health one, well that fucks right off.

We only have two hands. And if we open a hand long enough to try and grasp another… nope. Doesn’t work.

We can try to use our mouth but then we get over worked, burnt out and begin to suffocate.

Plus, the octopus doesn’t really seem to want us to grab it’s tentacles… so it fights back.

Sometimes, for a lot of people, the octopus rips off its dick tentacle and just fucks them with it…

Maybe we need to start relaxing with our great and mystical life octopus. If we just chillax with the mystical octopus, maybe give its tentacles a nice pat… maybe they will come to us.

Maybe we need to slaughter our mystical octopus. Clutching all of its severed tentacles in our bloody, shaking fists!

Don’t do that…

Don’t slaughter your octopus.

Put down the machete.

Go love and cuddle and smooch on your life octopus.


18 thoughts on “All hail the great and mystical octopus *or* dick tentacles getting you down”

  1. I never thought of it this way before. We all have our octopus to bear, and we have to do it while underwater. Love your humor and appreciation for sea life! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For every one tentacle you hug 7 others hug you back! 🙂

    Lets just hope they all realise the difference between hugging and strangling!!! (Yikes!)

    Hope you’re getting by, Lemons! 😉

    ( I was going to say ‘doing well’ but we have to be somewhat realistic in this life – don’t we?? 🙂 )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bahahaha I am “doing well” with the lemons life hands me… that is all we can hope to do.

      I think that the mystical life octopus is tricky that way… sometimes we think it is strangling then a door opens and we realise they were just trying reassure us and say “this way, you silly headed ninnymuggins!”


      Liked by 1 person

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