bloggity blog, When I am empress

When I am Empress – judging parents

You know what I fucking hate? Judging. Judgey McJudges that think they know better. They all seem to speak in that condescending tone… you know the ones… and if you don’t, then you may be one.

Now, common sense dictates that I do not mean when we judge someone for doing something genuinely shitty. See past “When I am Empress” posts if you are unsure what I mean by this.

I mean, simply judging someone because their ways don’t match up to your delicate fucking sensibilities.

This happens A LOT when you are hanging out with other parents. If you are not a parent and have no plans to be, then feel free to tap out now. This is basically “breeder centric” but, if you like hearing me bitch about fuckwits, then you can hang around. But I guess “non-breeders” can judge parents too… on second thought, stick round, this applies to you too.

I associate with a lot of parents. I say “associate” because I am not exactly “friends” with all of them. Most of them actually. And you know what I have found? It is fucking shocking. Hold onto your fucking hats, peeps.

We all raise our kids differently.

Gasp! Shock horror! Holy flying spaghetti monster, Batman!

So, if you feel the need to, not only judge (because sometimes judgement happens in our mind) but actually complain because Cathy feeds her children meat, or fucking Stacey over there doesn’t teach the words of Jesus, or poor bloody Natasha, “Did you hear your son say ‘fricken awesome’ when they were watching that documentary. That offends me.” Or Eric! “Eric, you should be giving your children a complete breakfast, instead of just that cereal.”

Unless you are worried about a child’s safety (ie: abuse) or the person has actually asked for your ugly opinion, keep it to your damn self.

Being a parent is fucking hard. There is no manual. And we all doubt ourselves at one (thousand) point, so don’t be a pork sword. Be supportive of one another! It is hard enough as it is to deal with life, deal with our own heads, deal with family, deal with raising kids, without some holier-than-thou cunt yelling at you because your child’s lunch doesn’t include all five fucking food groups.

This also applies to your older kids or Grandchildren. Just because these humans came out of your body, doesn’t give you the right to judge and pass judgement. Do not make people feel guilty for something that is not actually mortally or mentally or physically damaging to themselves or someone else. For example, if you think your daughter should be put her kids in the bath after a long day, even though they are not particularly dirty and she is exhausted… just let her be the parent. She is doing her best and the kids will survive if they miss a bath.

Now, a word to parents.

If you are not a raging alcoholic or drug addict and your parenting styles fit into the 10 rules of humaning, then you are fine.

If your child/ren is/are happy, healthy, doesn’t say fuck/cunt/shit/cock/cock sucker/mother fucker/ass muncher/dick head/twat/racial slurs on a regular basis, doesn’t hurt animals or people, doesn’t pick on other children, avoids drugs, plays outside every now and then, can read and write eventually, eats a vegetable at least once a week, really any of these things then you are winning and you have done a bang up job. Go you! Congratu-fucking-lations! *pats parent on back. Gives them a cuddle*

Now, on to sentencing.

If you are one of these Judgey McJudgingtons, when I am Empress, you will be sentenced to death. KIDDING! I think for first offenders, you will be sentenced to humaning classes and weekend house duties in the homes of your victims’. Yep. You’ll be washing Stacey’s fucking dishes. Because reasons.

Repeat offenders, depending on the account of judging, will face a term on Dickmuncher island. There will have to be trials.

My loyal citizens of the Lemon Empire, be kind to one another. It’s really not that fucking hard. Be supportive. If you see a parent having trouble, ask if they need help, ask if they are ok, don’t give them your two cents. They don’t want your fucking two cents! What the fuck are they gonna do with it?

Love each other, for fuck sake.




39 thoughts on “When I am Empress – judging parents”

  1. I completely agree, and not just because I’m your Knight. I have seen parents of autistic kids get a little shut down when their kids have a meltdown. I just tell them it’s okay, and ask if they need something, or make the kid laugh. It diffuses the tension. Only once have I had to intervene and tell someone to STFU. Normally just a look can do it. I’m not intimidating looking, but I have my ways.

    Most people are very cool and tolerant. They know, and are aware, and just let kids be kids. Not the whiny ones. That’s on the parents. You’re of course a great mom, and I love what you do!
    Hugs! Kisses! and all the love.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I feel for the parents trying to get through a supermarket with bratty kids, getting dirty looks. I’ll toot my own horn, my kids are pretty well behaved and well mannered and I am not one to yell and scream at my kids. But even we have had days where I have had to “wait till we get to the car” them. Everyone has crap days. Parents. Kids. Everyone.
      Most people are fine but there are still a lot of jerks out there. I’ll put an end to that 🤣🤣🤣
      You are a sweetheart, Muffins. Hugs and kisses to you!!! Love love love!!! 🖤🖤🖤

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, this subject is out my Realm, but I know enough to say “I know what you’re talking about” and who am I to question her Royal Highness, Judge Lemony Judy, Empress of Ozzy-Land as far as the eye can see atop of the Blue Mountains, Queen Of The Little Desert, Presiding over all creatures great and small between Geelong and Lake Albacutya, I do bow to your betterer Judge-mentals, and shall sever the heads of any of the above mentioned Judgey McJudgingtons, who need to be punished beyond failing at Dickmuncherer Island….. BTW, this Island’s not anywhere near the New Caledonian Islands ,,, is it !!!, wouldn’t want to spoil my cruise by bloodying my good Hawaiian Shirts

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Bahahahahahahahaha you are super cute, Ivor dearest.
      Did I appoint you executioner? I could have… I need to appoint someone to keep track of all whom I appoint… 🤣
      Goodness no! Dickmuncher island is no where nice. It’s true whereabouts is not disclosed for the safety of my people and for the safety of those who live there… perhaps I should give the whereabouts though. Don’t want anyone accidentally running into my kraken sharks.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Okay … I wasn’t done! Lol! I love how you forking truth! I love your passion… your kindness… your ardor for being a kind human being! You are the sweetest loving heart there is. I’m in awe of you when I think about how much you’ve gone and are going through and you share your love with us! Still… you give and you give! Feels my love!

    My face…

    “Gasp! Shock horror! Holy flying spaghetti monster, Batman!”


    You’re amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol I was thinking it was a bit short for a Melon comment 🤣🤣🤣

      You are so sweet to me!

      I am a severely passionate person and things… grate on me. But I do not take my frustrations out on others. Here is where my thoughts ans feelings go.

      Lol I made myself giggle there… as I did when writing the list of cusses. There were more. I culled. Lol

      I love you Melon! Kisses!!!! 😙😙😙😙😙


  4. So on point and speckled with stunning hilarity. Love your voice. You are a SUPER truther and talenter of brill!!!

    People are often pricks. Mums can be especially pricky. I’m doing my best and am at the stage where I kind of think fuck you you useless waste of space if you think I’m doing a bad job. My boy is happy, healthy, super smart and beautiful so I’m good thanks!

    I do sooooo love you. And kind of missed you…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, my love.
      Back when I regular schooled my boys, I was one of those mums who stayed away from everyone else. I don’t like clicks… and school mums seem to think they are still in high school.

      I missed you too hunny bunny. Sorry i haven’t visited your side of the blogosphere lately… I’m so behind on my reading…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You need a copy of my book… “How To Fuck This Up and Other Things I’ve Learned From Doing Nothing”… It contains a whole chapter on children… life… puppies… and margaritas… My people are sending you a copy right now…

    Liked by 1 person

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