bloggity blog, writing

Unicorns and Candy Guns

This is another challenge set forth by the great Chuck Wendig.

Once again, my gorgeous Melon goddess did this with me too. I know she will post hers soon. We are both running late, as per usual. Go check hers out. If she hasn’t posted it yet, just go read something else on her blog. It is all gold. You can’t go wrong.

This week’s theme was “A world without guns” … No fucking prizes as to why Mr Wendig chose this topic.

I am fortunate enough to live in a country where gun laws are pretty good, so things that are a weekly occurrence in the States are basically unheard of here.

My story… is something. That is all I will say. I was up super late trying to decide if I should write this particular story or not because I wasn’t sure if people would think it was… facetious… In the end, I thought fuck it. If people get offended that is there own damn fault.


“The unicorns showed up ten years ago. No one knows for sure why they turned up or how they knew we needed them, but one thing is for sure, they came just in time.

“I still remember the feel of the gun against my forehead. It was more than cold. It was that wintery, burning cold that takes you a few moments to work out if it is hot or not.

“I could hear sirens behind the screams by then, distant but coming. I could see the panic on his face. That kid. The one from science. I could never remember his name.

“He was shaking.

“Blood splattered up one side of his pale face.

“It was my friend’s blood. Kasey.

“I had known her since kindergarten. We had braided each others hair and talked about boys and what it would be like to kiss one on the lips.

“I don’t think she ever found out.

“”Open your mouth!” the boy yelled at me.

“I was crying. We all were. Crying and crying. Pleading with him to stop.

“But he just screamed at me again. “Open your fucking mouth!”

“I did. You would’ve too. You would have done the same.

“The gun tasted like fireworks. Like coins. Like death. Like fear.

“That was when I heard them.

“The unicorns came down the hallway. I could hear the clip clop of their graceful hooves. I believe they just appeared at the same time all over the world. They had finally seen how much we needed them.

“They were beautiful. Black as midnight. Manes glorious and glittering rainbows. There was fire in their eyes. I saw it. They were angry with us, but they didn’t want to punish us. They love us too much. They knew we had only strayed so far because of the fear we felt.

“Magic and glitter and starlight flowed from their horns.

“And I could no longer taste the firework death in my mouth. But candy. Sweet, sugary goodness. Bullets turned to chocolate. Guns into lollipops. Fire and bombs and landmines into kittens and cotton candy and…”

“Oh shut the fuck up, Margo!” said Phillip, sitting in his wheelchair by the window.

“Don’t, Phillip, don’t be so hard on her,” said Rita, who held Margo’s hand.

Margo rocked back and forth, saliva dribbled from the decimated side of her face where the bullet had done its dirty work. “It was the unicorns,” she stammered.

“Yes, deary,” said Rita.

“No! God damn it! I listen to this fucking story every god damned fucking day! And I’m sick of it! Ten fucking years, Rita! I have listened…” Phillip leaned forward, skin crinkling with the movement. He pointed a rickety finger at the young girl. “Get your head out of your arse, Margo! It wasn’t fucking unicorns and magic that stopped the guns! It was fucking gun control! Stop living in this dream world.”

“Phillip, dearest. You believe you can hear Jesus speaking to you at night time from under your bed. Don’t through stones in crazy houses,”said Rita, still patting Margos hand.

Phillip waved a shaking hand at the pair of women. “Nah! Fuck both of you! And I do hear him! He speaks to me, he does…”

“The candy …. the the the unicorns,” stammered Margo.

“Yes, deary. The unicorns were beautiful,” said Rita, holding up a wrinkled middle finger up at Phillip who scowled at her from the window.

“Fuck you, Rita! Nurse! Nurse!” hollered Phillip.

Rita stroked Margo’s hand. “Just be thankful, deary, that you were the last … guns can’t hurt you anymore.”

Margo’s eyes didn’t register the words. Trapped behind the bars of her mind. “The unicorns… The unicorns will save us…”


48 thoughts on “Unicorns and Candy Guns”

  1. This was so poignant! LemonySugar! Thank you for sharing your head. I don’t think this was offensive at all. I think it needed to be said this way.

    I can’t say much else really this topic is difficult. Breathe… no sigh. Kind of hard! Okay… gotta go finish mine.

    Hugs lovely! 😘

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re adorable. I have to finish because this story is deep in me but as you know life has been weird of late and so it delayed yet again this forking prompt. But I’m doing it!! LOL.

        Love you my Lemony goodness!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow, an unexpected and touching fantasy story with a very real and relevant message. It’s not unexpected that you wrote a brilliant and engaging tale! I don’t know why anyone would be offended by your story, and I wish the U.S. part of the world would join the rest on this issue.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was worried because it is such a serious topic and I thought with all the unicorns people would thunk I don’t take it serious… obviously it is meant to reflect the ridiculousness of the situation and that magic isn’t going to save us … lol… I worry about everything I post.

      Liked by 2 people

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