bloggity blog, poetry

But fuck that shit

I was gonna write another hate poem

I was gonna write another “fuck you” poem

I was gonna worry

Steam and boil in my anxiety and hatred and fear of you

I was gonna cry

I was gonna crumble in on myself

Take my insides and pour them out onto the paper

Allow myself to fold and break and seethe

But fuck that shit

I was gonna allow you to control me

Just the way you used to

Take that knife

Your words and actions sharp like razors

Cut out my tendons

Use me like a marionette

Pull this string and I dance for you

Pull this string and I cry for you

Pull this string and I die for you

But fuck that shit

I was gonna do all these things

But I refuse to let you pull my strings anymore

I will not allow you to control me

The only person I dance for now is myself.

I escaped for a reason

And that reason was you.

I was gonna play nice…

But fuck that shit.

๐Ÿ–•

Love

Amberley

PS

If you are new here, welcome! If you or someone you know is going through domestic abuse, please seek help. Do not delay. Please. Fight. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Run to it. ๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค

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52 thoughts on “But fuck that shit”

  1. Yep, fuck that shit, ……. my Carole ran away from that shit, with her little 5 year old, and as fate would have, the new man she found for the rest of her glorious life was me. as if it was meant to be………

    Liked by 2 people

      1. People pick on what/who they see as weak. Kindness, sweet-natured, forgiveness… these are taken advantage of… because a lot of people… are dicks.
        It is sad that she was treated so… she was lucky to find you xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Fuck that! Yes! Don’t let someone control you and manipulate you! (He said to himself…)

    I’m glad you’re not there. I’m sorry if there’s still a room, even a closet, in your head space where someone lives. Eviction notice! You just served one.

    Hugs, LemonSugar! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yep… fuck that. No more manipulation. 2018 is the year for telling these puppeteers to go eat a bag of dicks…

      You will get there, my sweet Wardy Muffins. One day at a time my love… that is all we can do.

      GD is less of a bad tenant and more of a parasite or maybe not even that smart. He is more like a fart that just won’t dissipate. Someone else’s fart. You walk into a room and you’re like “fuck you!” ๐Ÿคฃ

      Hugs and kisses!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. LemonySugar! My heart goes out to you! My hugs embrace you tightly! I feel like I just let out a breath for you. Like everything was making hold my breath and… this post… your heart just allowed me to take breath.

    Love you!!!๐Ÿ˜˜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love you, Melon princess xxx

      I really doubt I would have been able to deal as well if it weren’t for you guys.

      Thank you for breathing for me
      Thank you for holding your breath with me.

      My sweetness. All the love xxx ๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค

      Like

  4. My squooshly Amberfairy. I lapped this up , tasted the remnant pain and sweet victory and hugged you with all the hugs I have. They may be far away hugs, newer than some other hugs, but still heartfelt. You are sweet inspiration and … full of truth, I feel. In such a short time, I adore you and your triumphs and your soul poetry and your fucking gorgeously filthy Aussie mouth, which I would smoosh with kisses and …okay out of breath now.
    Yes. FUCK that shit
    Loving you hard ๐Ÿ–ค

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That sends me into a snowy flurry of bliss. I’ll spoil you with love as long as life allows, My heart’s shield maiden of beautiful squooshles
        ,โค๏ธ๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’Œ

        Liked by 1 person

  5. The most giant of fuck bombs!

    One of my best friends went through a short and abusive marriage, but she has claws. Since then I’ve been made an Honorary Uncle to an awesome little dude and her new boyfriend is one of the chillest guys I have ever met.

    Liked by 1 person

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